The Political Compass is very interesting. here are my results. am a stinking capitalist pig, as i suspected; it just makes more sense. i'm too lethargic to elaborate, though.

i was caught in the rain on my way home from school. i like rain, i like the way air feels and smells when the shower is over.

today was pleasant, if not rather lonely. i didn't go to the canteen but stayed in the library to photocopy Chemistry notes, and ended up borrowing two books. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley (which i have been planning to read for about a year) and The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran.

i like watching people who are in love. they walk like they are waltzing, and they lose control of the direction and light of their eyes. not that i'm referring to anyone in particular, of course!

i watched A La Folie, Pas Du Tout. it's a really good film; you shouldn't miss it. Audrey Tautou is as gamine as Audrey Hepburn.

there is a half-eaten apple on the table, and i feel very sad.

this afternoon, an androgynous motorcyclist gestured at me from a distance. before i could investigate, he/she rode past me, still apparently talking to him/herself.

there are people in my school, of my age, who cut themselves regularly. also, there are people a year below me who are bulimic, and who cry three times a day. why is everyone so dysfunctional? i'm tired of hearing about the pills so-and-so is taking; they bloody well should learn how to enjoy the better things in life. stomach pumps and razor blades shouldn't be on anyone's list.

guides was lovely. viva la compagnie! i am also a proud owner of The Neon Bible. it's a shame Mr Toole killed himself at thirty-one.

it has rained all day. i checked the amount of money in my bank; and as it turns out, i'm not broke after all. there's just enough to buy a bar of Cadbury's and two books.

school was exceptionally cool today, the people, that is. i do not care to discuss my grades. Beautiful Thing was made into a film, what luck!

to Social Democracy.

i was just thinking about what it'd be like to be in love, the way it is in Moulin Rouge, so in love you have to kiss every five minutes you're together and send letters no one except both of you can understand. if you know, email me or something.

apart from a torn page, my head is absolutely empty.

marks and spencer's teacakes are something everyone, including you, should taste. i could eat around twenty, i think. today was good in a slapstick sort of way, although i have terrible stomach cramps and the words "chicken cheesecake" were stuck in my head all day.

hey, that rhymed.

i finished Catcher In The Rye. hopefully i can purchase The Neon Bible by Sunday.

i don't live in the United States, but he does get on my nerves.

i wonder how it'd be like to be falling and never reaching the ground. technically impossible, unfortunately.

i think i might get used to the fact she doesn't need me anymore. sometimes, lupin, you are so inept it kills.

i came across an old notebook containing my twelve-year-old thoughts. funny how it's all so unimportant now.

i need another Suede record.

there's a website which allows me to purchase CDs online and have them shipped to my place at no extra expense. fucking top, now all i need is a credit card. i seem to have forgotten what i wanted, though. i have frequent memory lapses and odd frames of mind; sometimes i look down at the mathematical equations and they all look like everything else. black and swirly.

i injured my fingers playing too much guitar, which is really shitty. i also started on Catcher In The Rye last night. bit late, i know, but it's decomposed in my bookshelf long enough. a fingerprint is on the front cover.

i have just wasted a purple plaster.

"Optimism is the opium of the people! A healthy atmosphere stinks of stupidity! Long live Trotsky!"

it's certainly been a hectic and unpleasant week, and i don't expect it to get better anytime soon. this explains why i haven't had the time or energy to blog lately.

i and heather had a conversation about the end of the world* yesterday. not the apocalypse, but in the literal sense. she described white light and mountains that came off the last pages of a book she'd just finished reading, and told me about a stage in Buddhism when you melt away into what i presume is Nirvana. i can almost guess how it feels like to be swallowing endless amounts of liquid light and feeling it run through you, a little like camomile tea, but softer and warmer.

i'm ninety pages into A Confederacy Of Dunces. brilliant, that one. may your Friday be good.


*now that i think about it, the end of the world might be Greenland. well, it is on the top of the rectangular map, after all.

so, school has fucking began again! thank god for stupid jokes, disinfected classrooms, and beautiful people. i have been listening to Mull Historical Society; Watching Xanadu is a good song although Colin's voice needs some getting used to.

i look at windows and through you.

i completed Life is Elsewhere. it is, of course, very beautiful; you can't expect anything less from Mr Kundera.

i think it's amazing how he uses average characters and average situations to explain things we take some time to understand, and later, love or kill.

edrag-tnava is avant-garde backwards.

Life is Elsewhere will be finished soon (i've been catching up on my homework).

and if the world does turn
and if london burns
i'll be standing on the beach with my guitar.
i wanna be in a band when i get to heaven
anyone can play guitar
and they won't be a nothing anymore.

this rings true. oh, and i have a fresh Nirvana obsession.

i'm now reading Life is Elsewhere, another work of genius by Kundera. will have more to say once i finish it; am still rather sore over Liverpool's loss.

i found my harmonica! the only complaint i have is its inability to play sharps and flats, but it's not like i can't transpose notes to C major. to be honest, i can't live without music. that, and books, are what i know i can hold on to for the rest of my life. most other things get lost along the way.

so she's going to boarding school after the O levels. i promise myself i won't think about this until next year. anyway, there's a Manchester United versus Liverpool match to look forward to.

it rained for a couple of hours today, so outside is damp and springlike, except for the smoke.

i played football today. it's a good change from lying in bed.

i also finished The Book of Laughter and Forgetting. my thoughts? it's written in a clear and disjointed way that somehow links up to form a beautifully thought-provoking picture by the end of the book, although you may not totally understand what Mr Kundera is trying to put across. key words; lightness, philosophy, eroticism, and a mild disturbing quality (the Tamina parts).

it's about the right time, but i don't have the courage to call her. or maybe i just don't want to. i'd never know.

shit! i just screwed up the last entry because of a misplaced tag. believe me, editing it is impossible. ignore that; i wish i were on an espionage. there are too many cities that exist in my mind and i think i live in all of them, in an apartment with an alley. i also need to finish reading The Book of Laughter and Forgetting.

the reason why i haven't been updating is because i haven't created anything for myself to talk about. my days consist of normal bodily functions and extremely loud music. i wrote some new stuff on coffee klatch career; but you don't have to put up with me, so go read an adrian mole book. that's what i do when the door's locked and the phone doesn't ring.

i wish i were on an espionage. there are too many cities that exist in my mind and i think i live in all of them, in an apartment with an alley. i also need to finish reading The Book of Laughter and Forgetting.

the reason why i haven't been updating is because i haven't created anything for myself to talk about. my days consist of normal bodily functions and extremely loud music. i wrote some new stuff on posted by Desiree | 8:18 PM